For ghostly inspiration for The Haunted Mansion movie, Disneyland let the film's director walk through the
actual Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland. And he discovered a horrifying secret about that talking head in the crystal ball... "They said, 'Whatever you do, do not touch the tablecloth.'"
Why? "Because people, as they go through the ride, they spit!"
Los Angeles geek Andy Baio drove 350 miles
for "California Extreme" -- a giant exhibition of classic pinball machines and video games.
Andy's a good friend of mine, and I wanted to see the games --
so Saturday I showed up for the show in San Jose...
I was impressed that they had Barrier -- a video game I last played in 1979.
Other games I hadn't played in twenty years included Warlords, Tutenkahm, and Scramble.
And I made a point of finally setting a high score on the 80s classic Berzerk. ("Chick-en!
Come back and fight like a ro-bot!") I was disappointed they didn't have
other games I remembered playing way-too-much of in the early 80s --
like Krazy Climber, Burger Time, and Bagman. But Andy swears he spotted a Popeye machine earlier in the afternoon...
Andy and I played another 70s classic called Tennis. (Basically, horizontal
Pong with a net.) Searching for a better two-player game, we
found the original Missile Command. And then Andy showed me a game I'd never played before called Marble Madness,
as well as its unreleased sequel, Marble Madness II.
(Roll the marbles off the edge, and they squeal "eYAHHHHHHH!")
Even more laughable was The Irritating Maze.
It's well-drawn with a large screen, but if you fall off the path,
it flashes a seizure-inducing strobe of light while blasting a puff of
air into your face!
Some of the games were even stranger.
Another unreleased machine involved shooting color-coded marbles to explode an ever-encroaching spiral.
And one involved an actual cue ball, which you shot into the darkness under the monitor
to trigger an animation of your shot hitting other billiard balls.
But celebrity licensing made things even stranger. The Road-Runner game
was entertaining, but the Beavis and Butthead game was just surreal. (When I looked up,
they appeared to be attacking a square dancer.) Another video game
involved the rock band Journey. And Andy was positively appalled that they'd made a video game with Gallagher.
It's one consolation is that instead of shooting wacky things -- like cars or
groceries -- you could also shoot Gallagher.
The best game was probably San Francisco Rush -- a racing simulator that
shook as you hurtled through futuristic San Francisco streets.
The coolest low-tech game was Cosmo Gang. Actual plastic aliens wobbled
closer and closer to the energy crates in front of you. Your light gun
blasted them back up their tracks - but at the end of the game, they
wobbled cheerfully and shouted "Good-bye!"
The first game I played when I got there was the classic Galaga,
and it was nice to see pinball machines I'd played in the
early 80s, too. (Saturday I played Gorgar once for old time's sake,
but skipped Black Knight, Kiss, and Captain Fantastic.)
They even had some old pinball machines from the 1950s. ("No wagering. Minors not permitted to play this game.")
You know you're looking at an old machine when it says it's five-cents a play --
and the instructions offer "1 replay for each score of 56,000."
But I noticed more people were playing the newer Addams Family pinball machine.
(Which I also played quite a bit.) It's considered the most popular
pinball machine of all time, with its sound samples from
the 1991 movie's actors -- Christopher Lloyd, Raul Julia, and Angelica
Houston. (Speaking of which, here's some cool trivia about the Addams Family movie and TV show.)
But a lot of cool pinball machines started using sound samples in the 1980s.
I didn't get to Elvira Saturday, but I did play Jokerz. ("Quiet, Fool!" Drawbridge sound effect...)
And I also took a few tries at the Gilligan's
Island pinball machine. Ultimately I succeeded in summoning "Kona, god of the island," but
couldn't make the ramp shot into the volcano....
One more pinball machine deserves a special mention -- Taxi. I
played it alot in the 80s and -- well, let's just say I succeeded in
picking up Gorbachev, Marilyn Monroe, Dracula, and Pinbot...but I just
couldn't get Santa Claus! There was also a new-fangled machine called Revenge from Mars. It's part of the
Pinball 2000 series, and it features an actual 3-D animation of giant martian
monsters, which you whack by shooting your pinball at the screen
on the back of the machine where they're being displayed.
Unfortunately, the Tron video game wasn't working, and there were some other
80s games that I wish had been there, like Phoenix and Time Pilot.
But there was a good representation of the classics -- Centipede, Tempest, Robotron 2084, Donkey Kong
(and Donkey Kong Jr.) -- plus more obscure 80s games like Bubbles and
Food Fight. I can't articulate the larger signifance of the show,
but at times it felt like I was back in touch with my teenaged self.
And: It was fun.
Here's a description of some of the old video games I played this
Use the joystick to avoid the Coyote while running over piles of bird
seed. Extra points if you trick the Coyote into running into a truck.
Warlords A four-cornered version of Break-Out, with four castles trying to deflect
a bouncing rock onto the other players.
Tutenkahm Joystick through a 2-D maze (with transporting portals),
using the other joystick to shoot horizontally at crows and snakes.
Along the way you collect jewels and keys for doors to the next level.
Scramble A remarkably lame rocket-ship game from the early 80s.
The ship travels horizontally over mountains and through a tunnel,
as vertically-travelling rockets try to intercept it. The player
shoots horizontally-travelling dots --
but the ship runs out of gas unless you bomb fuel pods on the ground.
("How does that result in more fuel appearing on your rocket ship?" Andy asked.
Which was the first question I'd asked myself twenty years ago...)
Other random observations about the show:
They also had the "interactive cartoon" games Dragon's Lair and Dragon's Lair II.
Today I learned those games
may be made into a
Tucked to one side of the hall was an obscure pinball machine based on the 1995 movie Johnny Mnemonic.
To raise money, they were selling a classic photo of Elvira
at a promotional appearance where her dress slipped open,
revealing -- er, that she probably isn't dying her hair black.
Regular Destiny-land readers know about my
obsession with "The Nutty Squirrels."
(A late-50s novelty group much like Alvin and the Chipmunks.) Their wacky song "Salt Peanuts" turned up on the soundtrack album for the 1999 cartoon Iron Giant.
Strangely, though, the song
appears nowhere in the film. It's not even listed in the closing credits. And yet, it appears on the soundtrack.
Those tricky squirrels are so hard to find....
Anyways, the movie was set in the 50s, so its soundtrack is a treasure trove for retro-hipsters.
For equally surreal blasts from the past, listen to "Kookie's Mad Pad", starring Ed Byrnes from 77 Sunset Strip.
The robot in the 1999 movie Iron Giant came from a book with an amazing history. It "grew out of a story told by [English poet Ted] Hughes to comfort his and American poet Slyvia Plath’s two children following their mother’s [suicide]."
The book was adapted into a rock musical by the Who's Pete Townshend, then later a stage musical -- when writer/director Brad Bird decided
to adapt it as a non-musical cartoon. (Among his previous films was the 1987 robot comedy "Batteries Not Included.") He's currently working on Pixar's upcoming superhero movie, "The Incredibles."
The voice of the giant robot was provided by Vin Diesel. And when the giant robot derailed a train, the fleeing engineer's voice was provided by
Disney animator Oliver M. Johnston Jr.